Hermit Crab

I had my Performance Review meeting today, and my boss was so impressed that I'm doing an Editing course privately, that he's going to contribute nearly $400 towards it, and give me some time off to study! :-)

He is also giving me some more project work to do, which means he values my work.  I told him I'd be interested in maybe presenting courses, in the future after I've had some more training, and he was very supportive. 

I told him I was stressed out about all my Long Service Leave, so he said he'd be supportive if I could just choose some weeks and make sure my workmates are ok with it. I feel guilty, and I don't want to inconvenience my colleagues, but I guess, it has to be taken at some stage.

I am finding more and more this year that the people who used to treat me like a child and like they had no respect for me are now paying attention to me and treating me like I actually have some intelligence.  Maybe when people get past 30 they automatically get a bit more respect?!

However, I've had a strange couple of days.  My head has been spinning because of a number of things.  I'm worried about a friend who's having a hard time at the moment, I'm worried about my Mum, I'm uncertain of my future generally and I have to think about my career.  It's been unbelievably hard to concentrate and focus. I feel like my brain is melting.  This year has been such a race, and it's May, and I feel I haven't achieved all that much.

So, I've applied for some time off at the end of May.  And this time, I won't let other people plan my time for me.  In fact, I'm thinking of hiring a motel room for maybe a week down in Noarlunga or something, and not letting anyone visit me. I really need some time to think and plan and sort my thoughts because I'm so scattered at the moment.   7 is my lucky number, so I'm hoping by the end of 2007, my life will be fully sorted and set for take-off. My partner doesn't seem to understand why I'd want to be alone for a week, but the thing is, every now and again, I need to be a hermit crab. I need to shift from automatic to manual, just for a few days.  I need to get to know myself again... while I still can.