3 posts tagged “editing”
It’s been a fairly exhausting week. Glad it’s Friday.
On Monday night I went to Domain library to do some Editing homework. I like it there – there’s things like leopard-skin furnishings and stuff! It’s open til 8pm so it’s a nice place to hang out at night time. On Tuesday night I went to the Uni Library – that one’s even better – open til 11pm! It’s also a very peaceful place – even more so than the Domain. I can hide in a corner and forget about the world while I study.
Tuesday was Anzac Day. G came over to stay so we could get an early start in the morning. We downloaded Lemmings from the net and played it on my laptop! So cute!
Woke up about 7am Anzac morning due to the noisy cat. I spent a couple of hours doing homework, and also browsing MySpace. Found a couple of people I knew from NSW – but it seems a lot of people set up a MySpace account and then forget about it! Mum rang at quarter to 10 saying T had already arrived, even though I had said I wasn’t planning to get there til 10:30! Super-eager J So I cruised up and G said he’d meet me after he’d finished his Iced Coffee. On the way there I was shaking with nervousness as well as anger. I was listening to Rage Against the Machine and trying to fire myself up with some positive energy.
I started to pack my stuff, but then Mum said Dad wanted to talk to me. I really didn’t want to, as I really just wanted to grab my stuff and go. He didn’t so much talk with me, as he talked at me. He did apologise, but I still don’t think he understood what he did wrong. Of course he blamed everything on my brother, even though he hasn’t seen him in years! He doesn’t want to take responsibility for his own actions. I said he should stop drinking – and he didn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to admit he’s an alcoholic (he doesn’t drink in front of people – he does it by himself in the garage!). I said he should see a psychologist, and he said he didn’t want to because they’ll make him join a church group! I said he should go to the Dr and he said no because he didn’t want to go on drugs (hello…alcohol’s a drug!). And he said he was depressed because he had no friends. I said he should go and make some new social circles, but the problem is, he doesn’t know how to be friendly, and also hates spending money and has no interests.
I said that in order to have people respect him, he has to respect people including his family, so his behaviour has to change. He said he was 60, so he can’t change. He kept going on about the past (mainly to do with my brother) so I kept reminding him it had nothing to do with my brother. My brother was not there when my Dad started abusing me, Mum and G, and smashing up the house! Then he said he wanted people to forget about the past. How can we when he keeps bringing it up?! Until he takes responsibility for his actions and changes his behaviour and attitude of course he’s going to keep pushing people out of his life. He refuses to believe he has a problem. He knows something is wrong but is unwilling to face it or solve it. I kept reminding him that he’s been doing the same thing for over 30 years – this is not just a ‘once-off’ and he really should learn his lesson that this is not the way to behave to one’s family.
So, all that talking slowed me down. Luckily G and my friends T, M & L had pretty much nearly packed up everything in my room by this stage. Having more cars definitely makes moving easier. It would’ve been even quicker without Dad taking up all my time with his ranting and raving. Mum tried to get us to move the fridge, but we really didn’t feel like it – it was a fairly hot day and we didn’t have the right equipment.
Once we’d moved everything to my brother’s house, T had to go home, but G and I went to lunch at Pizza Hut with M & L. It was nice to catch up with them. Pizza Hut were a bit skimpy with the pizzas and the garlic bread was devoured within the first few seconds it hit the table because people had been waiting so long for it! But I really enjoyed the jelly and ice cream – that’s my favourite part!
Later that afternoon G and I took a bunch of stuff to his Nanna’s for storage. She’s kindly letting me use her shed (a MUCH cheaper option than National Storage who charge over $100 per month). Mainly my kitchenware and folders and books.
That night I had a dream that my Mum was encouraging me to place my head in a lion's mouth. I think it must have represented my conversation with my Dad.
On Thursday I went back to work and on Friday (today) I had half a day off, so I decided to go through some of my stuff in G’s Nanna’s shed. We also had a Barney Burger at Barnacle Bill’s, which was lovely. It’s been raining all day today. Been a bit scarey on the roads. Flooding here and there as well. But, our gardens and reservoirs need it. Apparently in Queensland there’s Level 5 Water Restrictions, which mean the only parts of a car you can wash are the windows, mirrors, lights and licence plates. A workmate of mine moved up there a couple of weeks ago. I wonder if she’s regretting it now?
I learned something new the other day. People think the reason Americans spell words like ‘harbour’ without the ‘u’ is because they’re lazy. But it’s actually because when America was settled, the English spelt it as ‘harbor’. However, a little while later, everything French came into vogue in England, so they added a ‘u’ to words like ‘harbour’ and ‘labour’. But America kept the old spelling. So the American English is more English than the UK English!!
I learned something new tonight as well. When you are wine tasting, you spit, however, when beer-tasting, you don’t spit. This is because the bitterness can only be tasted as you swallow it.
I read in the paper the other day that in about 5 years some car companies in China will be producing 1 million cars per year, per factory! That’s going to eclipse Mitsubishi and Holden and Australian industry is just going to be left behind in the competitive stakes. So, we better start making something else that the Chinese aren’t good at, and fast!!
Last week there was a mass-shooting in a US university. If it had happened in Australia, we would’ve done something similar to what we did with the Port Arthur massace – buy back people’s guns to prevent it happening again. What do American politicians suggest – they say that the ban on carrying guns into universities be lifted, so if a gunman enters the campus, the students there can shoot back at him. All I can say is, Americans watch far too much television! That’s the craziest thing I have ever heard.
On Saturday morning, Z had a craving for bacon and eggs, and we didn't have any eggs, so we decided to go to Woolies in my car to pick up some groceries. We had a nice shopping trip, and came back to the car, which decided not to start! My brother came out and had a look at it, but wasn't too sure what was wrong, so we rang the RAA, who arrived about an hour later. In the meantime, we saw a 4 car collision on Brighton Road!
The RAA guy said it was the fuel pump. So, then he called the towtruck, who took another hour to arrive! I was sitting in the carpark next to my car thinking, "homeless, car-less, what else can go wrong?!" A lot of drivers were really nice, asking if I needed any help.
The towtruck towed it to my brother's house. Took all of 3 minutes to get there! My Mum was there so we had a coffee and caught up with her. Then we went to IKEA and my brother bought a massive wardrobe with frosted glass doors for my room! Well, we picked it out, took the measurements, went back home to re-measure to make sure it would fit, then raced back again to make sure we got there before 5pm.
I asked G to meet us in the IKEA carpark, and we put half the flatpack in his ute and half in the Merc. The wardrobe was truly huge for such a small room, but it does fit. We spent til 2am building it, while watching all sorts of movies including The Wraith, Flight of the Navigator, Fatboy Slim live at Brighton and Human Traffic.
On Sunday we drove down to Lonsdale in the Merc to find a fuel pump in the wrecking yard, but they didn't have any Barinas there. So then we drove all the way up to Elizabeth (over an hour's drive), and watched Suddenly 30 on the dvd player in the car! We found a beat up Barina and got the fuel pump and also hinges for my drivers side door.
We spent the afternoon fixing up my car, and putting the finishing touches on my wardrobe. Now my car's working fine. I'm moving my stuff on Wednesday morning with the help of G, M and T, so I'll sort out my wardrobe when I've got stuff to put in it! Hopefully Mum can get Dad to go somewhere so he doesn't get in the way when I'm moving my stuff.
I found it hard to concentrate at work today, with everything going on. I'm glad this Wednesday is Anzac Day and I get half a day off on Friday too. I left work early and bought some plastic storage boxes at Marion, then went to the library to study. I've nearly finished my Book 1 for Editing - yay!
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. I feel like I don't have control over anything. I feel like a refugee, like I don't belong anywhere. But, I'm trying to go with the flow, and hopefully everything will work out. One thing I have learned is that in situations like this, some people genuinely care, and some people pretend to care, but offer empty promises. I'm glad I have some caring people around me at this time.
MONDAY:
Lately I've been feeling that my self-confidence is evaporating. I thought by this age that I'd be naturally self-confident. But I seem to be losing it altogether. I've been feeling quite sensitive, subservient and guilty lately. I can't express myself or stand up for myself as I'm scared of confrontations. I feel numb like a zombie so I don't feel anger; sometimes I feel like a robot. I have a lot of things I want to say but I don't want to upset anybody, and I fear judgement and rejection anyway (that's what my parents do to me - actually, they don't listen anyway, so I don't even bother most of the time) so I keep a lot of things to myself and put my own needs last. It may be because it's the wrong time of the month, and it might be because we're right in the middle of Pisces (come on...hurry up Aries and bring on the partying) (I turn 31 on Wednesday). And it may be simply because I'm back living with my parents and feeling ashamed of that. I've only been here a couple of months and already they want to control my time, my life, my finances...and make me into their little puppet.
Most people probably don’t believe in Astrological forces, and I don’t believe the generalised crap they put in the newspapers for horoscopes, but there are things to do with Astrology that have been proven over and over to me in my life, so I can’t ignore them. They help me understand people, personalities and situations. At the present time (February/March) it’s the time of Pisces –the fish. I am half-Pisces, so I can understand it quite well. The qualities of Pisces are not be able to make decisions, martyrdom, moodiness, confused-ness, negativity and a fair bit of crying (water = fish). Thankfully, it ends tonight, and tomorrow Aries starts up again (my birthday – yay!!). I have noticed that quite a few people have been affected by the Pisces force – my Dad, people at work – just been moody for no reason, myself included. Aries is a much better time – as Aries is a go -getter and a goal -setter.
I've been saving up for new tyres for my car. I finally scraped together $400 and I gave the money to Dad, as Mum had said it'd be easy for him to take the car in during the week as he has nothing to do. However, he decided he wanted to do it on Saturday morning. Saturday morning rolled around, and I heard my parents outside my window at 8:30am talking about me! My Dad decided he didn't want me to spend money on the car - he wants me to sell my car instead and buy a new one! They reckon they're scared I'll crash the car because it'll break down on me! (I've never had a car accident - even when my car DID konk out about 8 years ago on south road! But that was the distributor and it’s now been fixed). After a lot of discussion, I finally convinced him I needed new tyres for safety. I do want to get a new car (mine is over 10 years old, but still kicking on), just not this week! Do I tell them to get rid of their cars?! We got 3 new tyres at Bridgestone (even though I'll probably get the fourth one in a couple of months anyway!), and we had an hour to kill so we walked around Bunnings and Marion. thrilling stuff - walking around a shopping centre with a bored Dad! But, he did buy me a XLotto ticket though (no, didn't win a thing).
They want me to spend the money that I've saved towards a house deposit on a car. I think it's a bit ridiculous, and it means I'll have to start my savings plan all over again. The main reason I bit the bullet and moved here was so that I could save for a house to have a bit of freedom. At the moment I have everything I could need, except freedom. I don't think it's super-urgent that I buy a car. If my car packs up, I'll deal with it then. I'm saving for a car too, anyway. Hopefully by next year, I'll have enough money to organise to have both things - a house and a car, or at least a deposit for them anyway.
I'm feeling annoyed that I've put on weight again, so I've started my exercising in the mornings again (Yogaboxing). Just means I have to get up a bit earlier which can be a challenge. Hopefully exercising and getting fit will improve my confidence again. I've been getting up earlier anyway because work has been so busy. I'm drowning in it and I wish I could work until 9pm just to catch up. I also haven't been getting enough sleep - trying to fit so much into my day - trying to keep up with editing study and have time to myself to read emails etc. How I wish I could clone myself.
Yesterday we saw a good movie called Hot Fuzz. A British take on shoot-em-up movies. Very good, very funny, very violent. Make sure you see Shaun of the Dead before you see Hot Fuzz though. You'll appreciate it better.
G. was a sweetie today. He came over to fix my mobile phone. I've been having trouble sending text messages. I have a feeling when I sent my phone to Nokia to fix, they just chucked it in the bin and sent me a new one, so now I've had to redo all the settings, etc. Then we went for a drive to Maccas and had some nice cake and then visited my brother. He has Foxtel, but decided to watch Mythbusters, which you can see on free to air TV anyway! (probably not at the moment though!).
It's so funny. For years my brother has been on my back to sell my car. Now he's saying I should buy a house. For years my parents have been nagging me to buy a house. Now they're deadset on me spending my savings on a car instead. I just...can't...win. Can’t please everybody.
TUESDAY:
Work is insane. We’re having an Occupational Health and Safety Audit and my boss has asked me to make sure everything is set for that, which is actually a huge task. I have to meet with everyone individually to make sure they can answer the questions of the auditors on Friday, plus make sure the office is OH&S compliant. And I’m not even trained as an OH&S rep! I haven’t seen my in-tray for weeks I’ve been so busy – it’s chockas.
Tonight Mum made me Phad Thai for a nice birthday-eve meal and she gave me another present – a fluffy dressing gown. However, Dad kind of spoiled things. He was asking me about my Editing course. He asked me how much I was paying for it, so I told him, and he got mad (it’s $45 per month – total of about $750). He wants me to study to be a Real Estate agent or something and get rich. I explained to him that editing and proofreading is a skill I already have, so having a qualification means I could edit theses and essays of the 10,000 students at Flinders and get paid by the hour, as well as keep my full time job. I may even get a job in Public Relations. To be honest I really don’t care what he thinks – I’ve moved beyond trying to impress him, as I know it’s impossible, and now I just find it annoying that I have to defend every decision I made as it doesn’t live up to his standards. I’m 30. He can’t control my life anymore. I will do what I want whether he finds it to his taste or not as legally, he has no sway over me.
At least my phone is working now. Internet has been a bit dodgy, but it works fairly well. Last night I had a dream that I visted my cousins L&K& N and they had 2 pet tigers. I decided to feed them oranges, but the tigers got mad because they wanted meat, and bit my hand! However, their teeth didn’t penetrate my skin – it was just like a kitten teething. Though, they didn’t let go!
Anyway, so I’m feeling like now the world can throw as much as me as it wants. Bring it on – I’m ready. I’m 31 tomorrow, and nothing can beat me down. I’ve seen it all before. The time of martyr-like Pisces is over as of tonight, and feisty Aries is on it’s way to burn through all the obstacles that dare to take me on. :-)
